The Solstice

My tender limbs seek relief.

Not from a foretime’s impetuous work weeding the beds,

A different, deep, enthralling ache bellows from my core.

I only long to be with him.

To laugh, beam in a concert of rapture,

Indubitable joy in hewed lines on our faces,

Burrow tight dancing to phantom music,

Sit under a canopy of magnolia inspirit with sweet fragrance,

Touching fingertips, softly embracing possibility.

Such afternoon of unencumbered bliss,

A yearning so urgent,

My lashes wet with anticipation.

Yet, there is pause.

Does his mental palace brim with equal urgency,

Thus grounds for the sudden stir within me?

If an invisible tie should bind,

Where shall I find reprieve?

Truth portrays brighter than fiction.

Maybe this is nothing,

Perhaps he is everything,

The solstice awaiting our return.

~smf

 

 

There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep rolling under the stars. 

Jack Kerouac

Nesting…

1) As you wake up, offer self-compassion. Take deep breaths of gratitude to soothe your heartbeat as you rise. Think of at least one thing to be grateful for each new day and focus on it for several moments. Open all the window shades, pull the curtains away. Let the light in.
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2) Shower daily and put on clean clothes, even if that means changing into a fresh set of pajamas! Hygiene is paramount. One thing I introduced to my self-care routine about a year ago is finishing a shower with a cold-water rinse. This has been scientifically proven to reduce stress levels, wake your body up inducing a higher state of alertness, and incur a more robust immune response because it increases the number of white blood cells in your body. I started with a few seconds and now stand under a cold shower several minutes each morning. For me, it even reduces headaches and body aches almost instantaneously as well as ease in breathing, especially during allergy season. Happy cells renewed in your body will thank you! Brush your teeth, then drink some water.
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3) Hydration is also essential. Treat yourself and drink water in a fancy glass. Another part of my morning routine is drinking hot water with fresh-squeezed lemon juice. This jump-starts my system with a hefty dose of vitamin C and aids in digestion before that first cup of coffee.
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4) Whether swept into waves of a pandemic or simply grounding our spirit to embrace daily challenges, meditation provides the key to balancing harmony within. Spirituality comes in many packages, and it is up to your intuitive guidance to find what works for you. I was raised Catholic, and prayer is a meditation I do every day. Rosaries, mala beads, there are different ways to count prayers in world religions. Just taking a few minutes sitting in stillness, observing your breath, and blessing the chakras can help quiet the mental chatter and balance energy inside for better flow.
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5) Music energizes, comforts, inspires. Play music all day in the kitchen or whatever space your work takes you.
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6) Sustenance fuels you up. Prepare healthy meals by grabbing a few ingredients from the pantry and search for a new recipe to try on the internet. If you are financially-able, order take-out from a local small business who is hurting right now with all these closures. Pay it forward and leave an extra tip for them too.
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7) Connect gently. First, check-in on the heartbeats in your home. Offer compassion to another by texting someone you love or calling at least one friend a day. Reach out and have actual conversations, making genuine connections. Know that we are in the first days of rewiring community and local consciousness.
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8) Keep healthy boundaries so you can be physically aware of your space, and know when to turn off work and spend time taking care of yourself and your loved ones. Refrain from working in bed! Let everyone designate their space in the household, we’re going to be like this for a bit.  Take little breaks throughout the day. Unplug from your work, and try not to let it drain your energy. That goes for social media and online messaging, too, as you may find it hard to disconnect once you get hooked in. You don’t need to be bombarded by the media scene. Make that commitment each day to just unplug and surrender.
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9) Get up, stretch out, make some tea or coffee. Have a snack. Do some breathing exercises, yoga, or meditation. Continue to check in with yourself and your mindset. This will help you remain present and keep track of time. Or take a nap. Allow your body to stop and rest as needed.
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10) Weather permitting take at least one walk or bike ride daily, play, hike, get a healthy dose of natural vitamin D. Dance, create, read, write letters to people, do the things you have wanted to catch up on. Make movie-time 4-6 pm.
We are being called to clean up. This time we have to clean house before taking on a new life. The road ahead is full of challenges – and opportunities. We will learn a way to create better human spaces through all this. Let’s use this time-out to start fresh and begin with a consciousness of self. It all starts from within. – SMF

 

as she looked into her past,

she noticed that the road

she had traveled was

no simple straight line.

her journey toward fully

loving herself and the world

was full of forward and

backward movement,

twists, turns, detours,

and even some pauses.

at times, she doubted her progress,

her potential, and even

her power to change.

but today, with the

wisdom of experience at hand,

she knows she could not have gotten

to where she is without every

movement she has ever made.

from inward by yung pueblo

 

watercolor by Marcos Beccari

 

Renascence

Observed from a distance below the surface, she is concealed by inky blue, limbs kicking free, ripples surround.

Head submerged with a beacon of sun, befall the baptism.

She surfaces from the spotlight and swims to the short berth where a companion awaits. Not so pure the mix and live with anticipation, Golden wags wildly seeing her after playing obedient guardian of the towel. 

She dries, dancing on the dock in excited reunion with her best friend as he jumps, laps, and butts into her legs like a baby doe. The truest young love, anyone can see. The observer feels alliance even from afar.

Missteps in time, now she is facing the lake floor, quietly floating away, a flat balsa lifeless and calm.

Golden is wild, barking bravery wasted on the dock of departure. Moments lost for any words, thoughts, apperception.

Sight within, another birth to parlay.

The observer is wet too.

~ SMF

watercolor by Marcos Beccari

Now

Now

The knot in my stomach tightens

Squeezing tears, dripping

Like a drenched towel left on the clothesline in the rain

Twisted in clenched fists.

I’ve missed you so much

Just as you miss him now

But you are still here, yet not.

I often force myself to remember

That playground looks different now,

I don’t recognize it with all the modern greens,

Smaller, less inviting than when we went there,

Tammy in her stroller, I pulled the chain down

Securing her in the metal swing

Now a ghost at that park.

Remember when we were in our own world, playing with dolls,

In the park, in the living room, on the kitchen table,

I need to hold onto those grainy colored snapshots

For that person is no longer here.

Now she sits alone in the kitchen listening to melodies of his native tongue

Understanding better than when he spoke to you.

And you cry as I cry,

Gripping pain, face twisted and squeezed,

You said you wish he would visit you in this desolate place

While I just want you to return to see a pretty sunrise,

Or a red-breasted robin singing in the yard.

But I know you cannot, will not,

Allow yourself such pleasures.

Angry words burn in my head as I realize we are the same

Recognition,

Guilt and loss, a penance

Boring holes too deep to fill with empty words.

SMF

 

The early dawn speaks in moody color

Awakening with a recollection of my lunar mother

As she flew to my throat, this master of disguise

Determined to soften, to illuminate a vernal path of light

Wealth in blind faith, I will follow.

 

Nocturnal luster flutters forth, and I can see clearer now

Enchantment from the shadow depths

Change is apparent as I question purity at hand

Intuitive birth beginning from a mere thought

Wealth in blind faith, I do follow.

 

Spoken words from within rising to my lips

A collective emerges

Under the velvet moon we rise, voices void of sound, rich in color

Drawing innermost shadows to the canvas

Wealth in blind faith, we follow.

 

Searching for balance and beauty, a portal sought

In realms of truth and trust

Passage to where though? dare I ask

Uncertainty reigns under the velvet moon

But wealth in blind faith, I still follow.

 

~Sonya M. Fitzmaurice

 

From this morning


Snow flutters like glitter in the wind, so pretty in the rising sun. I see this through my kitchen window, and my mind wanders.

A new year is here. Time to review and renew, embrace, and embark. A new list of intentions, not resolutions, because these are a way of living, goals set into motion to promote well-being and life itself:

Everything I do needs to be from my heart. Feel passionate about things and go ahead, even if it is out on a limb, out of the comfort zone. Be true to myself and my spirit without regret or fear.

Keep looking outside of the box and try new things, experience new friendships, and be happy every day. Take chances.

Give of myself every day with kindness, help, generosity, and love.

Keep my inner core strong and calm, yet embrace and release any emotion with complete abandon to cleanse my spirit and move forward. Live in the moment. Always forgive.

I can feel my heart beating quickly. It is a glorious day outside despite the howling wind.

I take a deep breath of the energizing life force and enjoy each day as a gift. May I expand my awareness so that nothing escapes my attention. Amen.

~ SMF ~